Viernes Negro

                Black Friday.  This is perhaps the most anticipated, gossiped over and ravaged day of the year, as far as shopping is concerned. If you have to work during this day however, it is a day of dread, fear, and anxiety.  I got my first and most likely final taste of Black Friday last week as a consumer.  The day that caused a woman at Wal-Mart to pepper spray 20 other people while racing to get her precious whatever.  This is the same day that has even caused people to be killed in the past, all to save 300 dollars on a television.  I was giddy at the prospect of going and observing all the people.  I sincerely hoped and prayed I would be fortunate enough to see two 70+ aged women racing to get their hands on the Golden Girls series collection.

I was home for Thanksgiving break and went to Target at midnight with a couple of my buddies.  They didn’t even have to talk me into it.  I am pretty easy going with my friends, up for just about anything, as long as it’s not dangerous like bird watching or bowling. I’m not that big of a risk taker.  Driving there I was convinced the lines would be chalk full of elderly aged women prepared to hobble and stumble to the nearest aisle that tempted them.  I have no idea what type of aisle elderly aged women are into….cooking perhaps, housewares?  I don’t profess to have any idea.  As we pulled up I could not have been more wrong.

                Starting at the front door was a line. This was no ordinary line. It winded. It zigged. It zagged.  It did all types of things a line should not be capable of doing.  This line was full of all types of people. There were children under the age of 5, teenagers, college peeps, moms, dads, and elderly on their death beds.  All eager and pumped to rush into Target and buy that new coffee maker. Many had the “eye of the tiger,” the look that said, “I will do whatever I must to get that TV.”  My friends and I made our way to the back and prepared for the doors to open.  We saw one lone security guard doing his rounds on the perimeter of the store. He looked terrified about what could potentially happen if the crowd became unruly.  At the stroke of midnight a loud cheer echoed throughout the parking lot followed and duplicated by nearly every person in line.  Unfortunately this did not cause any fights to erupt, much to my chagrin (Chagrin is truly an awesome and quite scholarly word. So much so I decided I had to take time to call your attention to it with this very long insertion via parentheses).  As we got closer we were able to see people already leaving the store with their purchases. Most people had gotten big ass TVs or Xboxes, I-Pods, etc, but there were a few things I found odd.  Such as the woman who pushed her cart past me full of bedding.  Yep, bedding. All I have to say is that bedding better have been like a 1000 count Egyptian thread.  Or the guy who tried to fit his 55 inch TV into the back of his very small car.  We finally made our way into the store and went towards the electronics section. I am not going to get into what we bought, (I got movies) but we had to wait two hours in that line alone to actually pay for what we bought.  This is added on to the thirty minutes it took to get into the place.    All in all target was extremely organized and nobody died or was peppered sprayed (should have gone to Wal-Mart instead).   Is it strange I kind of wished I had witnessed something of this nature?  It probably is, yes.   

                Looking back on my short but interesting experience I still cannot figure out what would cause people to wait outside of a store for days, just to get through the door first.  Is that TV really worth taking time off of your job and away from your families, hobbies, etc.  I don’t think so but then again what do I know?

Disclaimer:  I realize some of the above sentences are not actually sentences. Then again, this is my blog so I don’t care.  Hope you all had a fantastically wonderful holiday.

I Object

            There are many taboos out there for men, especially in the fashion world. While I do not pretend to know everything, I am a subscriber to GQ, which does in fact make me an expert. I pay a whopping $16 a year for that entitlement. The purpose of this post is to use my superior writing and analytical skills (half kidding) to defend those amongst our ranks which are unable to do so for themselves.  I will tackle such daunting feats such as flip flop sandals, the pink shirt, using hairspray, and the ever hated on V-neck. I hope this post once and for all squashes all the doubt and awkward stares we have received in the past.

Flip Flops

            From roughly the months of March through Sept I am constantly wearing flip flops.  I love them. They are comfortable, cheap, and convenient and go with almost anything you are wearing. You don’t have to worry about socks and did I mention they are cheap? I feel as if I should throw out a special mention to Old Navy here for their spectacular sandal deals, even though I am a target lover at heart.  Many girls seem to frown on us gentleman for wearing such an “atrocity.”  I can understand their point of view to a certain extent but not wholeheartedly. If you take care of your feet and wash them properly there should be no reason to not wear flip flops. If you have only nine toes or your feet are webbed….you may want to remain loyal to the ever popular tennis shoe, or kick as the young kids are calling them these days.

The Pink Shirt

            Perhaps even more than the flip flop love which I hold dear to my heart, is my great endearment to the pink shirt. I love them. I can’t get enough of them. You have to have a certain kind of confidence in order to wear a pink shirt. This is not because of the shirt itself, but purely because of the stares and words which will surely be thrown your way when you enter into public.  They are usually negative and said behind your back but trust me, they are being said.  Pay these peeps no attention, they just don’t have the stones or the bravado (one of my favorite words) to pull off such a dashing, eye-captivating spectacle.  Keep it up gentleman. We are in a rare league but our numbers are growing. With that being said, it is always good to support the fight against Breast Cancer.

Hair Product

            Okay.  I have been growing my hair out for several months and have been utilizing the side part. Think Clark Kent, Scott Disick, or characters from Grease type of style.  I do not see it around campus much but the compliments I receive have been endless and much appreciated.  I am a big proponent of using hair product.  It doesn’t matter if this is gel, hairspray or the combination of both.  Sometimes you have to double up on your strategy because you never know how windy or rainy it is going to be. God forbid your hair gets messed up early on in the day.  This type of calamity would surely ruin ones day, at least it does mine.  So fret not those of us who use hair product, be proud and wear it proudly. Just don’t go overboard.  After all, Pauly D makes it work and he uses $60 of hair product a week. It is probably best to not ask how or why I know this fact.

V-Neck

            I have few loves in this world. Twinkies, root beer, cop shows, speed dating and V-necks probably round out the list.  I could not tell you how many types of this shirt I own.  I have many different colors and varieties.  It pains me for one of my loves to fall into such scrutiny and lack of appreciation.  Why oh why would anyone hate on the V-neck. I cannot figure it out.  These shirts are cheap, in style, come in many colors and go with jeans, shorts, khakis, etc. What else could you possibly ask for in a fabric?  Since I am a fashion expert…………. (Many of you roll your eyes) I can assure you men, it is okay to wear such a shirt.  If you were to tell me all you own are V-Neck and pink shirts we would probalby be best friends. It’s as okay to wear a V-neck as it is to buy an American Flag. I think those are actually the top two ways you can show patriotism.

Wearing white tube socks with sandals

Just kidding, I cannot even come close to defending this one. Just don’t do it gents.

Chivalry is not dead, just scared shitless

                I am somewhat vexed when I hear some of you females complain about how there are not any “nice” guys left in this world.  The other common saying is how “chivalry is dead.”  I could not disagree more if I tried.  Chivalry is not dead; it is terrified of showing itself.  It has been brought to near extinction because the male population has been scared out of using such a concept. I have provided two clear cut examples below to aid you in understanding my accurate viewpoints.

  I am fortunate enough to attend a large well known campus with over 40,000 students, about half of which are ladies.  There are a lot of doors on a campus such as this and obviously I use these doors, frequently. If you or anyone else is behind me I take the time to hold the door for you.  I choose to do this out of respect, kindness, and from the way I have been raised.  When passing through a door there is several steps to be followed and implemented by the one who hits the door first.

1.       You do a half-turn and scan behind you, looking to see if anyone is near enough for you to hold the door for.

2.       If there is, you hold the door until their hands are able to touch the door.

3.       You then wait patiently for two simple yet underrated words…. “thank you”

4.       You reply with an equally courteous and easy “you’re welcome.”

5.       Continue on your day

This is a highly simple yet underused method to holding doors.  It is not a hard or daunting task.  Yet many of you fail to follow these five guidelines.  Please feel free to print out this article and make a handy ready-to-go reference card.  I am assuming most of you reading this know how to open doors (you are obviously intelligent enough to read our blog) so feel free to pass this info on to someone you know who struggles with the concept. 

                Now that we have covered the ground rules, let me divulge the secret behind chivalries apparent extinction.  I would say 8/10 times I hold the door for a girl she does not say thank you and shoots me what I like to call the “do not hit on me eyes.”  Now granted, I have been known in the past to be quite active in my passes on the fairer sex, but I have never used the opening of a door as my “hit on you” platform.  I prefer to do that at much classier places such as a bar or at the pool.  This glaring of the eyes and lack of verbal courtesy has made me very hesitant in whether to hold a door for you or not.  Secondly, if I am on a bus and it happens to be crowded then yeah, I am going to offer my seat to you.  Buses do not travel smoothly so there is going to be a lot of jostling and moving about.  I am fine with that, therefore, you can take my seat.  This does not mean you have to stare at me like I have three arms or like I am homeless.  I am just being kind and putting your comfort before my own. When chivalry is met with these reactions it is no wonder this ancient form of politeness has become nearly extinct.  We men are terrified to use it because of the responses we get. 

Dear God

Why am I writing a blog about children and parenting?  Perhaps this is as good a forum as any to admit to the world I have a child on the way, only a few months away.  I am very excited but also very fearful at the same time.  I am excited about how it will feel to be a parent and fearful in how successful I may or may not be.  I can only hope I will be half as great of a parent as my mom and dad have been to me during these 22 years.  Actually I am only kidding; I have no kid on the way and will not for several more years hopefully (many people release a huge sigh of relief as they read this).  Figured I would just share some thoughts as well as observations on such a daunting task as this.

Not sure how I feel on the prospect of raising a child.  On the one hand I am excited to teach him or her many different things I myself have learned throughout my life.  Imparting upon them the difference between right and wrong, hearing their first words, sending them off to their first prom, all of these things seem pretty exciting.  On the other hand I am scared of the twenty year reign of bitching, complaining, and utter sleepless nights they are sure to cause me.  Let’s be honest for a second.  Most kids do not really appreciate their parents until they are young adults, aka 20, 21, etc.  Until they reach this critical age they are whiny, loud, and obnoxious, think they know everything, and are downright asses.   I myself was all of these things until just a couple years ago.  Now there are those few and very rare examples of kids who get along with their parents perfectly, no complaining and no arguing.  For those few and far between all I have to say is God bless. You are a dying breed and near extinct.     I do not feel like I will enjoy the first fifteen years or so of parenthood (kind of a joke, I’m sure I will).  Childhood is just one changing cycle of bitching.  First they bitch about not getting enough milk, then it’s a toy they want, more television, a new bike, staying at little Brandon’s for the weekend, not wanting to do their homework, wanting to go on a date…..wanting a new car, asking to stay out after curfew, wanting a bigger allowance,  bitch bitch bitch.  The amount of complaining never ends, just the subject matter of such complaining.

Obviously with this first paragraph I have chosen the side of the pessimist.  I know there are going to be plenty of joyous and wonderful occasions and memories supplied along the way of parenthood.  These memories will be mixed in with terror, worry, annoyance and happiness forming one big jumble of all things parenting.  Perhaps I am so concerned because I am fearful as to how I will raise my kid.  Will they grow up to be respectful, strong, responsible and smart, or will they grow up to be a little asshole.  Honestly things could go in either direction fairly easily.  Luckily I will have another half to help me along the way guiding and instructing along beside me.  I will just teach my son or daughter all of the cool and awesome things and leave all the important items such as responsibility and manners to my wife.  After all she is probably highly more qualified on such items than I will ever be.  To be honest my journey to adulthood has been marked with many pot holes and wrong turns along the way.  Should I try and keep my kid from these very same misfortunes or let them explore and see for themselves?  Sometimes you can receive all the proper guidance from your parents. You can receive all of the love in the world, all the help and compassion and still find ways to mess up along the way.  Hopefully my children will not  throw water balloons at Amish, spend hundreds of dollars on toilet paper, nearly get expelled from high school, countless detentions  and worst of all, I can only pray to God they do not get a B- in gym class.  My heart could accept most of these infractions but not the latter.  This is a blemish on my record which must never again be repeated by a Dehr.  If they do participate in any of these events how can I tell them I am disappointed or angry with them all the while knowing I did the very same things.  Sometimes all you can do is show your kids the way and hope they are wise and of sound judgment in following the provided path.  If they are not wise enough to do so, perhaps they will realize when they are 20 and finally start listening to their parents, much like I have.  My best friend, who is my age, has recently began his journey of raising his young son Malachi.  He and his wife seem to be doing wonderfully as parents and loving every second of it.  Perhaps I will be able to emulate them one day, with either my daughter or my son.  Either way, considering I haven’t had a girlfriend since before flip phones, I will not have to worry about this experience for many more years.

   

Awkward Situations Part II

Only a brief intro is needed as our title is fairly explanatory.  This is our follow up edition to Awkward Situations, Part I.  We have not repeated any of our material from the first part and hope you enjoy this second portion where we delve deep into awkwardness and all things awkward.  More to follow this week as well so be sure and check back!

                “The Wave”

We have all been there.  It’s awkward every single time and the worse thing about it is you cannot even avoid the situation if you wanted to do so.  I’m talking about that instance where you are walking down the street and a pretty girl, waves in your direction.  Usually you don’t even think about who the person is, you just wave, and not just a lazy wave, no, I am talking about a full on, arm outstretched, reaching high for the sky wave.  We are committed to this wave and determined to see it through to the end.  As this happens an extremely obvious look of dismay crosses her face, right on the border of disgust.  An equally confused look crosses our faces and our brains are temporarily halted as we try to fathom what is happening.  Then it dawns on us…slowly but surely we realize what’s up.  We turn around and realize we were not who the girl was waving at.  She does not even know we exist and was staring right through us.  Her attention is fixed on someone behind or near us and this person was the recipient of the wave.  Of course at this point we do the 360 and scan any crowds of people who may be near, just to see who could have seen us be rejected.  It is at this point in our day where we carry on, slightly dejected, and a little depressed at our failure to receive the wave.

                “Umm…You have a little something there…”

The invention of the Kleenex ranks right up there with the automobile, light bulb, television and internet.  All have allowed our civilization to advance. No really, think about it.  Would you ever respect or listen to someone who constantly had shit in their nose?  I wouldn’t either.  Some people out there (possible some of those reading this) need to invest in a few boxes of this gift to mankind. I use the term “invest” extremely loosely as a box costs about .75 cents.  Nothing is more awkward than trying to carry on a conversation with someone with all kinds of mayhem happening in the nostril region.  It is distracting, odd, and discouraging, all wrapped up into a nice convenient sized package of awkwardness.  I mean, do you tell them they have a situation, do you try and ignore it, or do you just stare at the scene before you with a blank look covering your face?  These are tough questions for any man or woman to answer.  Either way, when this happens it is never enjoyable or looked upon favorably.  Many other inventions and tools have been devised over the ages to combat this problem, although most do not know it.  Mirrors, spoons, toasters, (really anything shiny in which you can see yourself) Kleenex, paper towels, toilet paper, your finger (last resort) can all be used to avoid having shit in your nose when you are talking to someone.  WWJD?  Yes I just incorporated a “What would Jesus Do” into this blog post. I will tell you what he would do. He would blow his damn nose.  Just remember….Kleenex 4 life.

                “Moist”

The next issue has to do with bathrooms.  Now I could go on and on about bathroom situations and the peculiarities which exist within (mainly due to other people being so damn weird).  The issue I want to touch on is very specific.   We have all been there too, which makes this so perfect to write about. I am talking about when you go to wash your hands and for some reason the water pressure is like 1000X what it should be thus spraying water all over your pants.  For some reason the water always seems to congregate on your crotch, as if to say “screw you.”  You now look like you have pissed your pants.  You have just entered a state of awkwardness known to many but enjoyed by few.  There is always that friend too, who will quickly point at your crotch, laugh, and make some joke at your expense.   Of course this new moistness (hahaha, I know a lot of people cringe at the word “moist”) won’t dry anytime soon and you will be forced to face the outside world in your current state.  For the next hour or perhaps even longer your mind is bogged down with the thought of how you look and the consumption of hope.  Hope however, won’t make your pants dry any sooner or hide you from your shame.  Most people are wise enough to realize it is the spray from the sink but still, you know people are also pondering the idea in the back of their mind that you may have urinated on yourself.  Even worse is you can’t walk past every person and explain to them what happened.   You can only pray and hope they do not notice and keep walking toward whatever destination they currently seek.  Eventually you will leave this state of awkwardness and your mind will be bothered by other thoughts, other than those concerned with “I wonder if people think I pissed myself?”

"Elevators"

Next time you are in an elevator with another person, you should be able to taste the awkwardness.  If you do not think this is awkward come find me.  If I’m not helping out at the nursing home or tutoring the blind I will meet up with you, and then I will smack you because you are wrong.  It is very awkward.   A very short post but does there really need to be any more written about this subject? 

First Moves

I was recently thinking and came to the conclusion the idea of first moves.  First moves can be applied to many different areas of life, but I feel like we mainly just think of them from a “move on the fairer sex” perspective.  If you stop and think though you will quickly realize there are many different opportunities throughout our lives where it is advantageous to make the first move.  A few notable examples shall be provided below so you can best ascertain what Nick and I are talking about. 

Voice Cracking

            This is much more of a concern for males than females obviously so if you are reading this and it doesn’t apply, just enjoy and follow along.  Guys, we have all been there.  The “there” I speak of is of course that moment when we are with friends and our voices squeak in a high pitched, extremely embarrassing almost unimaginable pitch.  It happens when we are fifteen and fresh at the doors of puberty, and regrettably it also occurs frequently even as we are entering our early twenties. If you are reading this and saying   “nah, this does not happen to me” perhaps you are in an entirely different league, an almost Charlie Sheen- esqe league in which all you know is winning.   If this is the case then please proceed on to another blog as this one is obviously written by mortals.  When you have ever been around a friend of yours and their voice cracks you know of course there are but two courses of actions all of us guys pursue. They are constant and simple. We laugh and then make fun of the one who squeaked.  This is how it always works, without exception.  If you are the unfortunate one to commit this unavoidable travesty, there is one simple action you can take to relieve the embarrassment you are most assuredly feeling.  Next time your voice cracks simply make fun of yourself first and all will be well.  When you make the first move and mock yourself, it leaves everyone else unable to do so and they will just simply laugh. A little laughter never hurt anyone, so go for it and enjoy. 

Really though, it is hard to do, making fun of yourself first can often start off an evening full of mocking and ridicule. And if everything you say is ridiculous you can just play to the hilarity of the situation.  Spring Break in Daytona comes to mind…hung-over on the beach, as a Hummer One drives by full of very attractive females, “is that a hummero uno?” and yes it was. I have even more embarrassing tales as well, which for the sake of the honesty of the internet I will share. This story is from a long ago time when I was in middle school. It was seventh grade if I remember correctly and I was young and as nerdy as ever. Short scrawny buzz cut, pretty much just my smarts differentiating me, I know so humble. Anyways I was in health class, it was early morning and the sun was shining. The class was taught by this quite nice and attractive lady if an adolescent teen brain can be trusted. The bell for the next class was on the break of ringing and we were all sitting idly by our desks. Well as fate would have it I started getting a tickle at the back of my nose and knew a sneeze was approaching. Sure enough the sneeze burst forth along with to my humiliation and shame, a fart. Yes there is no way to sugar coat it, when I sneezed I farted as well. Nothing of epic proportions, just a normal one, however it was audible. The ladies and gentleman sitting around me promptly began the tormenting. I want to tell you, I tried to play it off, but at that age it is taken personally for such an innocent and natural occurrence. Well it make matters worse my teacher overheard all this and chose to interject on my behalf. As we all know a teacher sticking up for you and explaining how it is a natural process does not help at all, in fact it just riled the heathens up even more. So goes the tale of the “snart” and why if you are smart enough you can save yourself much embarrassment by laughing at yourself first. Granted this is all very situational dependent.

Girls, Girls Girls….or Guys, Guys, Guys

            I am going to be as blunt as is humanely possible. I think the notion that guys HAVE to make the first move is outdated, stupid, and insane.  I rank it right up there with the ideas of liquid diets, superstitions, and the Easter Bunny.  None of these things make any rational sense and it’s a shame so many of us are forced to abide by them (mainly talking about first moves here, not liquid diets, (insert laugh here)).   I am okay with this age old tradition being the norm, but I do not believe it should basically be seen as an unwritten law, because let’s face it, that’s exactly what it’s perceived as.

------->How could I not interject something here? I am kind of a shy lad so making the first move is quite difficult. I mean this both in introducing myself to guys and of course gals. Making a first move you need to have confidence and self-assuredness. If you do not possess these two traits you will spend the rest of your life just watching others interact, especially if you never go up and take a swing at it.  No, this is not meant to be a pep session, just an observation from this last year of talking to strangers. This ranges from people at the bar to at the blackjack table. Most people are friendly and will at least pretend to enjoy speaking with you. I can think countless bar experiences when I become much less self-conscious and just say the most ridiculous things…Two ladies standing at the bar, “Thank you ladies for holding the bar up” yes I realize this is a bit “douchey” but I would stress tone can be everything. Can I think of more one liners, yes of course but in the end they are all the same. Softly break the awkwardness of just randomly going up to someone and beginning to talk.

College

            This is that clique subject of the first move to adulthood. College pushes you to assume that roll. You decide everything, classes, food, activities…the list is endless. Being a fourth year senior, got another to go, and seeing so many of my buddies graduating you see how much everyone has grown up. Sure there are still the wild youthful moments, but when cards get dealt you step up (Got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em…). College is when you learn what you want to do and who you want to be.  This is perhaps the most important question you will ever ask and answer about yourself.  You don’t do that without making a move, because it is so easy to just pretend college is just school. If all you finish college with is a degree, well not to be blunt but you missed out (After I finished this paragraph realized Alex used blunt as well, apologies around, I should probably invest in a thesaurus). College is when you find or maintain those friends who will be there years later. Sorry for all the sentimental thoughts, with a year to go I feel the anxiety that I haven’t done enough while here.

Pick’n and Sit’n

            I don’t care if you are talking about a school bus, classroom, bar or a car.  Choosing where to sit is an extremely important choice and if decided promptly and effectively can vastly change your perspective and outlook (mostly talking about classrooms and bars).  Making the first move in any of these scenarios can be extremely advantageous if you stop to think about them.

  I have noticed we are all creatures of habit, for the most part. When we enter a classroom, usually at the beginning of the semester we are allowed to choose a seat and have the power to sit somewhere different the next time we return to this class.  We have the freedom to sit where we please yet nine times out of ten we will flock back to the first place we chose.  You ever get to class and see someone sitting in “your” seat?  You feel betrayed, hurt and pissed off at the very notion someone would take your spot and put a dent in your day.  It is a forbidden, unwritten yet widely acknowledged law of the land… You do not sit in other people’s seats.  This is precisely why choosing your seat on the first day is important and must be considered with care and concern, lest you have Mr. Joe Blow sitting there upon your next visit.

The bar is just as simple of a concept. Guys go to bars to stare at girls. May I even be so bold as to say we leer at times?  Girls go to bars to drink with their friends and to practice their skills at turning us down as we approach them with some worn down, horrid pickup line we somehow think is funny and or clever (the polar bear line does not fall in this range because it is hilarious, clever, and unique.  What girl is going to turn down a clever, unique and hilarious approach to striking up a conversation with them?  Not many I say, not many).  Making the first move at choosing a seat with your friends is key when it comes to dictating the night.  If your back is turned to the general ebb and flow of the bar occupants, how are you going to leer…hmmmm?  You always have to ask yourself how you are going to leer, always.  This question should guide your motivation in social settings.  Fellas, next time you head out to a restaurant, or a bar, don’t just sit down without thinking, take a look around and see which seat offers the most rewards for an awesome night of leering, staring and any other adjectives for using the eyes in an intense staring fashion.

            I agree wholeheartedly. Placement and arrangement of your bodily position is crucial in nearly ever situation. The word use of “leer” though, I find a bit strong, makes us men seem a bit too creepy but as I am not a wordsmith so it will have to do.

Disclaimer to the ladies:

            I intentionally used the term “leer” because I find it to be a very humorous adjective.  In fact, whenever we head out to a bar we are only interested in conversation and looking into your eyes, ready to listen and admire.  We are not there to try and "pick" you up, or stare at you. We are out simply to enjoy a few beverages and the lovely glint from your shining eyes.  (Alex and Nick laugh long and hard…)

Tips from me to you

I am by no means calling myself an expert or a leading authority on the subject of exercise.   I am a firm believer though, if you do something long enough and with enough commitment you can eventually come close to being somewhat of an authority. Throughout these years I have experienced many ups and downs.  I have learned what types of things to do and much more importantly, what types of things to NOT do.  Weight lifting has been one of my passions for the last eight years.  In a few short weeks I am taking this passion and pursuing underwear modeling. In order to get my body in the kind of shape which is required I have had to obsess, study, research, sacrifice, and recommit myself like never before.   After much debate and thought I have basically determined the key to successful exercise, whether it is weight lifting or cardio, is much like anything else, it is all about your attitude.  If you can enter the session with the right mindset and apply this same mindset throughout, you will like the results you see.

Attitude is all about the following…

                -Goals

                -Motivation

                -Being realistic

                -Mindset

Goals:

Goals are a great part of life.  They can drive us, guide us and help us reach a certain point in a specific amount of time.  With exercise you need long as well as short term goals.  What goals you set for yourself are exactly that, for yourself.  Choose specific things you would like to accomplish for you.  It is important to establish goals and to have something in the distance to strive for.  This can be reaching a certain body weight, being able to lift a certain amount on a machine or maybe running a set distance.  It really doesn’t matter what the goal is.  If you have a direction in which you are aiming for it helps bring everything else together. My advice to you is to not focus on a “timely goal.”  What I mean is do not head into the gym saying “I’m only going to work out for an hour.”  Rather choose a certain amount of sets you want to finish, or an amount of miles you want to run, and leave when those miles or sets are completed.  If you just focus on an overall time you may not get in as much real work.  The best method is to combine the two.  (I want to run five miles in 35 minutes.  This way you have a goal, and you want to accomplish it in a certain amount of time. Now if you do not get it done in 35 minutes, do not stop, simply keep going until you are done.)  Often when we set a certain amount of time as our only goal, we focus on that time and not the actual exercise.  Try to set time out to exercise when time constraint is not a factor, that way you won’t be obliged to hurry your exercise which usually leads to a loss of form and energy. 

Motivation

Motivation is one of the biggest parts of exercise which I think often people don’t think about in ways they could.  The most obvious factor which everyone realizes when they exercise is the utilization of music.   It is no coincidence when you enter any gym you will see 8/10 people listening to music.  Music is a great motivator.  It can help drive us, take our mind off of the exercise, and can relax us as well.  My advice to you is to find that one song, that one song where when you hear it you feel like you can do anything.  Find that song that specifically speaks to you and motivates you like none other.  It does not matter what genre the music is.  If you like running to Backstreet Boys, then by all means run to “Quit playing games with my heart.”  My personal song is ‘Lose Yourself’ by Eminem.  When I hear this song it drives me like nothing I have ever experienced.  Put your song or songs on repeat during the toughest part of your workout and you will be amazed at the results.

Of course we all know about music, and many of us already use it during exercise.  I have recently developed my own method of motivation which I call “storing.”  Ignoring the fact this is a horrible name, it is better to focus on how easy and effective this method is.  I have been doing this for about seven months now and it has helped me through countless sessions in the weight room.  You simply store up all the recent negative things that happen to you and then when you are struggling during exercise you simply think about these things and use the anger as a driving force.  When I get made fun of, do poorly in school, get a speeding ticket, get in a fight with a friend or family member, I store these feelings away and then use them during exercise.  It allows you to use your negative feelings as an advantage.  I am sure this sounds stupid but I promise you it works.  Store the negative things away and when you are most struggling during exercise, pull them out and think about them.  It will help you finish reps as well as forget, and forgive (and no, I could not be any cheesier).

Being realistic

One of the biggest mistakes people make when they exercise is to expect results which are unrealistic.  Changing your body and improving your health takes time, effort, and hard work.  If you take short cuts to achieve success in exercise, it will be that much easier to lose that very same success.  Example: If I work for a year to reach a certain strength level naturally, but my friend takes pills and reaches that same strength in four months, who do you think will be the one to lose his progress first?  It’s going to be the one who took the pills.  The longer you work at something, the longer it will be until you lose that strength, or body type, etc.  You have put more hours and time into achieving that progress so naturally it is going to take more time for you to lose it (assuming you both quit exercising).  You have to be honest with yourself and realize you are not going to have a six pack after two weeks of working out.  You are not going to be in marathon shape after a month of running.  You are not going to see your arms get bigger after one session in the gym, no matter how long you stay there.  These goals take time and lots of hard work.  Be willing to apply that hard work and time and no one can take those accomplishments from you.

                                                               
                                                  Mindset

When you enter the gym or head out for a run you should be focused on whatever it is you are doing.  If you truly want to see results and get bigger, faster, gain more endurance, etc, then you should be wholeheartedly committed to your task.  My own personal piece of advice is do not bring your phone to the gym.  It will only distract you and keep you unfocused.  I use to bring my phone all the time, and much like everyone else I see, I would text and get distracted.  This usually ends up in longer unwanted gym time, or jus cutting parts of your exercise out. (This does not apply for cardio workouts.  With cardio, it is obviously easy to work out and use a phone).  Once you begin your exercise you should be able to accomplish four things by the time you are finished (again these are all just my opinion). 

1.) Work yourself hard enough to sweat, no matter what temperature you are in.

2.) At some point in the exercise you should hate what you are doing.

3.) Don’t leave any regrets on the table.

4.) You should feel great at the end of every exercise.

1.)If you are able to work hard enough every time you exercise to sweat, even in cold environments, you are doing something right, (obviously the more you sweat, remember to drink water, and lots of it). 

2.) I found that during exercise at some point (at a certain point in your workout, not for the entire duration) I should be working so hard and giving my full energy that I absolutely hate what I am doing.  I am wishing for it to be over and done with for the day.  I am not saying kill yourself in the weight room and lift unsafely. I am simply saying to give your full effort and push yourself.  The great thing about this negative feeling is it will pass as you get further into your workout.  If you can achieve this feeling, you are truly pushing yourself.  Weight lifting is not meant to be fun, if it was every person in the world would be fit and look like a bodybuilder. (Running or cardio would be a possible exception. You can run long distances and truly enjoy what you are doing)

3.) You should never end a session or even a single set in the gym if you feel like you didn’t use the correct form or didn’t lift the bar far enough, etc.  If you just completed your 5^th set but you know you half-assed the effort, go back and redo the set.  Never leave any regrets behind when you know you could have done better.  You will only be hurting yourself in the end by not giving your full.

4.) We lift to become healthier, to lose weight, to fulfill a New Year’s resolution, to prepare for beach season, or to impress a girl or boy.  We lift because it makes us feel better and can help improve our self-esteem or self-image.  When you get done exercising you should feel great about yourself.  Walk away knowing you pushed yourself and just remember getting to the gym is half the battle.

            If you can accomplish these four things each time you exercise you will truly begin to see results and reach your goals, I can promise you that. It will take time and lots of hard work but you will eventually get there.

Weight Loss

Everyone who has ever wanted to lose weight wants to lose it as soon and as quick as possible.  The body simply was not meant to go up and down in weight.  This isn’t to say it cannot be done, it just isn’t healthy.  Now we all know the main goal of weight loss is to look and feel better, but also to make the dropped pounds last.  Anyone can lose weight; it is much more difficult to keep the weight off however.  This is the main reason I personally have never been a fan of a diet.  Dieting and a diet are two different things in my mind.  Dieting means you watch your calories, sodium, fat, cholesterol, etc.  Participating in a diet means you are using such programs as Jenny Craig, Atkins, Weight Watchers, etc.  There is nothing wrong with these methods and they do work.  In order for them to work though you have to keep using them or the pounds are going to come back.  No one really wants to stay on a diet for long extended periods of time.  If you cut down on your daily calories, eat fast food less, watch your alcoholic drinks from time to time you will see the pounds drop.  If you add in exercise you will see an even greater impact and one that doesn’t force you to change your lifestyle as much as a diet does.  Just as the above example the faster you lose weight, the quicker the weight is going to come back.  Weight loss is not meant to be easy, fun, or a quick process.  Keep at it and you will see results, slowly but surely. Weight loss is obviously harder for some people versus others and maybe these methods will not work for you, but giving them a try cannot hurt either.