I was recently thinking and came to the conclusion the idea of first moves. First moves can be applied to many different areas of life, but I feel like we mainly just think of them from a “move on the fairer sex” perspective. If you stop and think though you will quickly realize there are many different opportunities throughout our lives where it is advantageous to make the first move. A few notable examples shall be provided below so you can best ascertain what Nick and I are talking about.
Voice Cracking
This is much more of a concern for males than females obviously so if you are reading this and it doesn’t apply, just enjoy and follow along. Guys, we have all been there. The “there” I speak of is of course that moment when we are with friends and our voices squeak in a high pitched, extremely embarrassing almost unimaginable pitch. It happens when we are fifteen and fresh at the doors of puberty, and regrettably it also occurs frequently even as we are entering our early twenties. If you are reading this and saying “nah, this does not happen to me” perhaps you are in an entirely different league, an almost Charlie Sheen- esqe league in which all you know is winning. If this is the case then please proceed on to another blog as this one is obviously written by mortals. When you have ever been around a friend of yours and their voice cracks you know of course there are but two courses of actions all of us guys pursue. They are constant and simple. We laugh and then make fun of the one who squeaked. This is how it always works, without exception. If you are the unfortunate one to commit this unavoidable travesty, there is one simple action you can take to relieve the embarrassment you are most assuredly feeling. Next time your voice cracks simply make fun of yourself first and all will be well. When you make the first move and mock yourself, it leaves everyone else unable to do so and they will just simply laugh. A little laughter never hurt anyone, so go for it and enjoy.
Really though, it is hard to do, making fun of yourself first can often start off an evening full of mocking and ridicule. And if everything you say is ridiculous you can just play to the hilarity of the situation. Spring Break in Daytona comes to mind…hung-over on the beach, as a Hummer One drives by full of very attractive females, “is that a hummero uno?” and yes it was. I have even more embarrassing tales as well, which for the sake of the honesty of the internet I will share. This story is from a long ago time when I was in middle school. It was seventh grade if I remember correctly and I was young and as nerdy as ever. Short scrawny buzz cut, pretty much just my smarts differentiating me, I know so humble. Anyways I was in health class, it was early morning and the sun was shining. The class was taught by this quite nice and attractive lady if an adolescent teen brain can be trusted. The bell for the next class was on the break of ringing and we were all sitting idly by our desks. Well as fate would have it I started getting a tickle at the back of my nose and knew a sneeze was approaching. Sure enough the sneeze burst forth along with to my humiliation and shame, a fart. Yes there is no way to sugar coat it, when I sneezed I farted as well. Nothing of epic proportions, just a normal one, however it was audible. The ladies and gentleman sitting around me promptly began the tormenting. I want to tell you, I tried to play it off, but at that age it is taken personally for such an innocent and natural occurrence. Well it make matters worse my teacher overheard all this and chose to interject on my behalf. As we all know a teacher sticking up for you and explaining how it is a natural process does not help at all, in fact it just riled the heathens up even more. So goes the tale of the “snart” and why if you are smart enough you can save yourself much embarrassment by laughing at yourself first. Granted this is all very situational dependent.
Girls, Girls Girls….or Guys, Guys, Guys
I am going to be as blunt as is humanely possible. I think the notion that guys HAVE to make the first move is outdated, stupid, and insane. I rank it right up there with the ideas of liquid diets, superstitions, and the Easter Bunny. None of these things make any rational sense and it’s a shame so many of us are forced to abide by them (mainly talking about first moves here, not liquid diets, (insert laugh here)). I am okay with this age old tradition being the norm, but I do not believe it should basically be seen as an unwritten law, because let’s face it, that’s exactly what it’s perceived as.
------->How could I not interject something here? I am kind of a shy lad so making the first move is quite difficult. I mean this both in introducing myself to guys and of course gals. Making a first move you need to have confidence and self-assuredness. If you do not possess these two traits you will spend the rest of your life just watching others interact, especially if you never go up and take a swing at it. No, this is not meant to be a pep session, just an observation from this last year of talking to strangers. This ranges from people at the bar to at the blackjack table. Most people are friendly and will at least pretend to enjoy speaking with you. I can think countless bar experiences when I become much less self-conscious and just say the most ridiculous things…Two ladies standing at the bar, “Thank you ladies for holding the bar up” yes I realize this is a bit “douchey” but I would stress tone can be everything. Can I think of more one liners, yes of course but in the end they are all the same. Softly break the awkwardness of just randomly going up to someone and beginning to talk.
College
This is that clique subject of the first move to adulthood. College pushes you to assume that roll. You decide everything, classes, food, activities…the list is endless. Being a fourth year senior, got another to go, and seeing so many of my buddies graduating you see how much everyone has grown up. Sure there are still the wild youthful moments, but when cards get dealt you step up (Got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em…). College is when you learn what you want to do and who you want to be. This is perhaps the most important question you will ever ask and answer about yourself. You don’t do that without making a move, because it is so easy to just pretend college is just school. If all you finish college with is a degree, well not to be blunt but you missed out (After I finished this paragraph realized Alex used blunt as well, apologies around, I should probably invest in a thesaurus). College is when you find or maintain those friends who will be there years later. Sorry for all the sentimental thoughts, with a year to go I feel the anxiety that I haven’t done enough while here.
Pick’n and Sit’n
I don’t care if you are talking about a school bus, classroom, bar or a car. Choosing where to sit is an extremely important choice and if decided promptly and effectively can vastly change your perspective and outlook (mostly talking about classrooms and bars). Making the first move in any of these scenarios can be extremely advantageous if you stop to think about them.
I have noticed we are all creatures of habit, for the most part. When we enter a classroom, usually at the beginning of the semester we are allowed to choose a seat and have the power to sit somewhere different the next time we return to this class. We have the freedom to sit where we please yet nine times out of ten we will flock back to the first place we chose. You ever get to class and see someone sitting in “your” seat? You feel betrayed, hurt and pissed off at the very notion someone would take your spot and put a dent in your day. It is a forbidden, unwritten yet widely acknowledged law of the land… You do not sit in other people’s seats. This is precisely why choosing your seat on the first day is important and must be considered with care and concern, lest you have Mr. Joe Blow sitting there upon your next visit.
The bar is just as simple of a concept. Guys go to bars to stare at girls. May I even be so bold as to say we leer at times? Girls go to bars to drink with their friends and to practice their skills at turning us down as we approach them with some worn down, horrid pickup line we somehow think is funny and or clever (the polar bear line does not fall in this range because it is hilarious, clever, and unique. What girl is going to turn down a clever, unique and hilarious approach to striking up a conversation with them? Not many I say, not many). Making the first move at choosing a seat with your friends is key when it comes to dictating the night. If your back is turned to the general ebb and flow of the bar occupants, how are you going to leer…hmmmm? You always have to ask yourself how you are going to leer, always. This question should guide your motivation in social settings. Fellas, next time you head out to a restaurant, or a bar, don’t just sit down without thinking, take a look around and see which seat offers the most rewards for an awesome night of leering, staring and any other adjectives for using the eyes in an intense staring fashion.
I agree wholeheartedly. Placement and arrangement of your bodily position is crucial in nearly ever situation. The word use of “leer” though, I find a bit strong, makes us men seem a bit too creepy but as I am not a wordsmith so it will have to do.
Disclaimer to the ladies:
I intentionally used the term “leer” because I find it to be a very humorous adjective. In fact, whenever we head out to a bar we are only interested in conversation and looking into your eyes, ready to listen and admire. We are not there to try and "pick" you up, or stare at you. We are out simply to enjoy a few beverages and the lovely glint from your shining eyes. (Alex and Nick laugh long and hard…)
