I am somewhat vexed when I hear some of you females complain about how there are not any “nice” guys left in this world. The other common saying is how “chivalry is dead.” I could not disagree more if I tried. Chivalry is not dead; it is terrified of showing itself. It has been brought to near extinction because the male population has been scared out of using such a concept. I have provided two clear cut examples below to aid you in understanding my accurate viewpoints.
I am fortunate enough to attend a large well known campus with over 40,000 students, about half of which are ladies. There are a lot of doors on a campus such as this and obviously I use these doors, frequently. If you or anyone else is behind me I take the time to hold the door for you. I choose to do this out of respect, kindness, and from the way I have been raised. When passing through a door there is several steps to be followed and implemented by the one who hits the door first.
1. You do a half-turn and scan behind you, looking to see if anyone is near enough for you to hold the door for.
2. If there is, you hold the door until their hands are able to touch the door.
3. You then wait patiently for two simple yet underrated words…. “thank you”
4. You reply with an equally courteous and easy “you’re welcome.”
5. Continue on your day
This is a highly simple yet underused method to holding doors. It is not a hard or daunting task. Yet many of you fail to follow these five guidelines. Please feel free to print out this article and make a handy ready-to-go reference card. I am assuming most of you reading this know how to open doors (you are obviously intelligent enough to read our blog) so feel free to pass this info on to someone you know who struggles with the concept.
Now that we have covered the ground rules, let me divulge the secret behind chivalries apparent extinction. I would say 8/10 times I hold the door for a girl she does not say thank you and shoots me what I like to call the “do not hit on me eyes.” Now granted, I have been known in the past to be quite active in my passes on the fairer sex, but I have never used the opening of a door as my “hit on you” platform. I prefer to do that at much classier places such as a bar or at the pool. This glaring of the eyes and lack of verbal courtesy has made me very hesitant in whether to hold a door for you or not. Secondly, if I am on a bus and it happens to be crowded then yeah, I am going to offer my seat to you. Buses do not travel smoothly so there is going to be a lot of jostling and moving about. I am fine with that, therefore, you can take my seat. This does not mean you have to stare at me like I have three arms or like I am homeless. I am just being kind and putting your comfort before my own. When chivalry is met with these reactions it is no wonder this ancient form of politeness has become nearly extinct. We men are terrified to use it because of the responses we get.
