Are you familiar with the car Chevy Fiat? I am asking because two of my best friends and I just traveled 13 hours (round trip) in a car roughly the size of a child's bicycle. My one friend Steve is 6'4" mind you and my other buddy James is over six feet tall. My license says I am 5'7" but I have always considered myself to be more of a 5'8" kind of guy. So obviously you have three very tall and very handsome gentleman packed into this "car." Did we get laughed at as we drove? Were we pointed at and mocked? Why yes we were readers. Yes we were.
Our destination was the glorious city of Pittsburgh where our friend Nickles (don't ask me why we call him this) now resides. We had heard muffled whispers and rumors that alcohol was possibly served in Pittsburgh so we figured we would confirm whether or not these rumors were true. Twas a pretty standard road trip for the most part. Jokes were made, laughs were had. Fortunately for us there was a radio somehow jammed into the six square foot area of the car allowing us to enjoy the brilliance of Sirius radio. Finally on the horizon after hours of sitting, twisting, jostling, and other verbs ending in "ing" we spotted the industrial skyline which could only be Pitt. We just had one more exit to take and we were home free. Easy. Piece of cake. Game over. That would have been the case if Adam Levine's Payphone song hadn't just come on the radio for the eighth time at that precise moment in time. I swear to God, Allah, Buddha or whatever deity you choose to observe that when this song came on the clouds parted. The sun shone and the birds chirped. Children ran out into the streets and jumped rope, and all seemed well in the world. These are the physical things which occur in nature when Mr. Levine blesses us all with his voice. Steve and I were literally so enthralled and captivated that we turned to each other and exclaimed our excitement to the world. It was at this time we all noticed we had just missed our turn and we were now heading into downtown Pittsburgh traffic. Yes, we actually missed our exit because of a radio song. Granted, it was Adam Levine so enough said.
We finally arrived in the city (after 45 minutes of extra driving) and began to find our way again. We found ourselves in a two lane street and I happened to glance over to my right to the car next to us. Inside were two very attractive females. I also quickly noticed they were laughing and pointing at the Fiat. I reacted the same way any sane person would who is forced to drive a Fiat. I pulled up closer and rolled down the window and let these ladies know the car was only rented. Granted, we will never see them again but at least I can rest easier knowing they know the truth. Somehow this simple realization helps me sleep at night.
I won't bore you with the rest of the details of our weekend. Obviously we drank and were thrilled to find the rumors true. Pittsburgh is pro-alcohol and therefore receives high marks in our books. Fun was had and achieved at every corner of our trip. What you should take from this brief tale is the perseverance of mankind, specifically Steve, James and myself. We demonstrated throughout those 900+ miles that no matter how ridiculous, stupid, and feminine we may have looked in the Fiat, we were able to rise above and have a good time. That is what America is all about. The land where you are able to fit three men into the tiniest car on the planet and still have fun. I think the Constitution has a line or two about this very same ideal. With all this being said, if you ever rent a car, do not get the Fiat. It sucks.
