Am I the only person left in the United States...no scratch that, the world who is still terrified of young children? I feel like this is the case. Kids seem to prey on me specifically. They look deep into my eyes and sense my weakness and vulnerability. They realize I am much older than them, then ignore this fact and begin their acts of terrorism. My two examples referenced below should be sufficient evidence to demonstrate this notion.
I was recently in Noblesville Indiana taking several tests for the police department which is located there. I had about four hours to kill between tests so I ventured to a local Starbucks. No sooner had I sat down than in came a family or group of friends, a tribe really, containing about 10-12 people. Their were about seven children within this tribe. For some reason the kids decided to sit over in the corner where I was sitting. I was trying to relax, read, and enjoy some coffee. They banded together to make sure none of these things were realized. Over the next hour I was stared at, surrounded, possibly mocked, and terrorized. They felt the need to bring their food over by me and proceeded to devour all within their sight. Muffin, scone and all other forms of pastry crumbs flew everywhere. Even when the heathens were feasting they did not stop with the staring. Have you ever been stared at by seven kids of varying age all at once? I would not wish this on my worst enemy.
I recently flew from Chicago to Denver Colorado with my roommate for a mini vacation. I absolutely hate flying. I feel every bit of turbulence, and I constantly check on the status of the wings. No joke. I often look out the window to assure myself the wings are still doing okay. On this flight there was a young girl sitting behind us. The entire flight her mother was reading her some kind of history, medieval story of death and conquest. The line “And Atilla the Hun often drank blood from the skulls of his victims” was actually read to this young girl by her mother. Who reads that to a young girl? That sentence nearly sent shivers up my spine and I am 23 years of age. Not soon after I heard this sentence read aloud I spot her in front of me off to the distance, an evil smile slowly forming across her face. She started off with a slow walk and quickly changed this to a rapid jog slash jumping-jack form kind of thingy. She was JUMPING ON AN AIRPLANE. Obviously I know this action will not bring a plane down but they certainly do not help to prevent it. I feel strongly, quite strongly actually, that jumping on an airplane should be placed in the same category as saying the word “bomb” while on board. This young titan of destruction should have immediately reprimanded and held by authorities, never to terrorize my flight again. For the time being I am quite fine with admitting, little girl-1, Alex-0.
The point of this story is quite simple. When Alex is confronted by kids in a coffee store or aboard a huge metal death trap 35,000 feet in the air, he does not win. I hope you all had a fantastically amazing Christmas and an even better New Years.
Starbucks
I was recently in Noblesville Indiana taking several tests for the police department which is located there. I had about four hours to kill between tests so I ventured to a local Starbucks. No sooner had I sat down than in came a family or group of friends, a tribe really, containing about 10-12 people. Their were about seven children within this tribe. For some reason the kids decided to sit over in the corner where I was sitting. I was trying to relax, read, and enjoy some coffee. They banded together to make sure none of these things were realized. Over the next hour I was stared at, surrounded, possibly mocked, and terrorized. They felt the need to bring their food over by me and proceeded to devour all within their sight. Muffin, scone and all other forms of pastry crumbs flew everywhere. Even when the heathens were feasting they did not stop with the staring. Have you ever been stared at by seven kids of varying age all at once? I would not wish this on my worst enemy.
Planes
I recently flew from Chicago to Denver Colorado with my roommate for a mini vacation. I absolutely hate flying. I feel every bit of turbulence, and I constantly check on the status of the wings. No joke. I often look out the window to assure myself the wings are still doing okay. On this flight there was a young girl sitting behind us. The entire flight her mother was reading her some kind of history, medieval story of death and conquest. The line “And Atilla the Hun often drank blood from the skulls of his victims” was actually read to this young girl by her mother. Who reads that to a young girl? That sentence nearly sent shivers up my spine and I am 23 years of age. Not soon after I heard this sentence read aloud I spot her in front of me off to the distance, an evil smile slowly forming across her face. She started off with a slow walk and quickly changed this to a rapid jog slash jumping-jack form kind of thingy. She was JUMPING ON AN AIRPLANE. Obviously I know this action will not bring a plane down but they certainly do not help to prevent it. I feel strongly, quite strongly actually, that jumping on an airplane should be placed in the same category as saying the word “bomb” while on board. This young titan of destruction should have immediately reprimanded and held by authorities, never to terrorize my flight again. For the time being I am quite fine with admitting, little girl-1, Alex-0.
The point of this story is quite simple. When Alex is confronted by kids in a coffee store or aboard a huge metal death trap 35,000 feet in the air, he does not win. I hope you all had a fantastically amazing Christmas and an even better New Years.
